Tag Archives: Expectations

Staying firm on expectations

I’ve been attending a training lately about helping students and colleagues in crisis.  The sessions have been taught by the head of our counseling office.  Last week we were talking about how to diffuse a situation specifically with the angry or irate person.

She taught us this great mnemonic device:  

  • L: Listen
  • E: Empathize
  • A: Ask Questions
  • P: Paraphrase
  • S: Summarize

Then, as she explained how to use it, she shared with us that at some point in the conversation you will set some expectations of the person.  Maybe you will ask them to sit down or move to a different location…etc.  Then she said: “it is really important that you stay firm on the expectations that you set.”

The light bulb went off in my head as to how many other things this applies to!  While yes, these are great tactics to use when you are trying to calm down a resident/student/colleague in crisis, these are also really great tools to use when supervising.

In my experience, your supervisee’s will respect you more if you are firm with expectations.  This boils down to three big things.

  1. set the expectations – Spend time really thinking through what it is you want out of each interaction/situation.  If you want your staff to send you an email at x time with y information in a specific format, then tell them!
  2. explain them – Take the time before your first 1:1 with a new staff  member to explain to them what a 1:1 should look like (for you).
  3. stand by them – You need to hold your staff accountable to your expectations.  This is really the focus of this whole post.

As we hold our staff accountable, they will respect us more and know how to work with us better.  Part of making your supervisor happy can make you feel better about your job and enjoy what you do more.

Interestingly enough, going back to the L.E.A.P.S. device, that’s a great way to remember and think about active listening – but, that’s a whole different blog post.

How are you at standing firm with your expectations?

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